Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of
life’s longing for itself.
They come through you, but not from you.
And though they are with you,
they belong not to you...
you are the bow from which your children as
living
arrows are sent forth.
from Kahlil
Gibran, The Prophet
Previously I’ve shared
work from one of the UNR faculty, Tom Lavin, MFT, LADC. He recently wrote a
piece for parents about when to seek help if they think their child is struggling.
While all of us are
facing increased stress due to COVID-19, children are especially vulnerable. In
addition to the worry about their health and the health of their loved ones, there
is the disruption to their schedules, having to adjust to a new type of
schooling/education, isolation from peers, and more. They are also surrounded
by reminders about the fragility of life.
In a three-part series I
am sharing Lavin’s advice* on when to seek help. Part one covered when to seek
help for children and part two focused on teens. The series concludes with this
post, adapted from Lavin’s work and the AACAP website, which focuses on some
helpful questions to ask when considering outside help.
If
you are considering therapy for your child on an outpatient basis (i.e. not in a hospital setting), parents
are encouraged to ask the following questions:
- If
someone else is suggesting that your child start therapy, why is it being recommended?
- What
type of therapy will my child receive?
- What
are some expected results?
- How
long will therapy last?
- Will the family also receive
therapy?
- How will the family be
included?
- How will the family be
informed about our child’s progress?
- How
can the family be most helpful and supportive?
If
inpatient hospitalization is being recommended, the AACAP recommend that
parents ask the following questions:
- Why
is psychiatric inpatient treatment being recommended for our child, and how
will it help our child?
- What
are the other treatment alternatives to hospital treatment, and how do they
compare?
- Is
a child and adolescent psychiatrist admitting our child to the hospital?
- What
does the inpatient treatment include, and how will our child be able to keep up
with schoolwork?
- What
are the responsibilities of the child and adolescent psychiatrist and other
people on the treatment team?
- How
long will our child be in the hospital, how much will it cost, and how do we
pay for these services?
- What
will happen if we can no longer afford to keep our child in this hospital or if
the insurance company denies coverage and inpatient treatment is still
necessary?
- Will
our child be on a unit specifically designed for the treatment of children and
adolescents and is this hospital accredited by the Joint Commission on
Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO) as a treatment facility for
youngsters of our child's age?
- How
will we as parents be involved in our child's hospital treatment, including the
decision for discharge and after-care treatment?
- How
will the decision be made to discharge our child from the hospital?
- Once
our child is discharged, what are the plans for continuing or follow-up
treatment?
The AACAP web site contains much more information and is a
reliable and trusted place to learn more. Click HERE for a list of Family
Resources.
*The following resources were
cited by Lavin:
"Understanding Teen Depression” by Empfield and Bakalar
“Overcoming Teen Depression: A Guide for
Parents” by Miriam
Kaufman, M.D.
American Academy of Child and
Adolescent Psychiatry: www.AACP.org
